Lord of the Mood Rings: The Mood Ring Club
by Rochelle Adams
Summary: Now it may be told for the first time, the REAL events that took place in the adventures of Dodo Flaggins and Company! We will give you the truth and the answer to the question that haunts your mind, What is REALLY in the mine? COMPLETED!
1. From the Beginning

**A note to my readers: This story was originally written in script form for a major motion picture (ahem) a year or so ago. It was co-written by my muse, Marie Carlson. Parts of it may seem extremely stupid and that is a result of originally written this at about, oh, three a.m. Please read, enjoy, and review. **

**Copyright © 2004-2005 Rochelle Adams and Marie Carlson. All rights reserved.**

**Disclaimer: We DO NOT, however, own any thing in this story that pertains to Lord of the Rings, Monty Python, Napoleon Dynamite, Spaceballs and anything else we can't think of at the moment. This goes for all of the Lord of the Mood Rings stories (Mood Ring Club, Two Flowers and the third one we haven't named yet)! The characters' names and all that junk are ours however SO DON'T STEAL IT!**

The world is changed.

I feel it in the water.

I feel it in the earth.

I smell it in the air.

I feel it because my mood ring told me so…

Much that once was…is lost. For we misplaced it…

Lord of the Mood Rings

It began with the forging of the great mood rings. Three were given to the Bells…immortal, wisest, and prissiest of all beings. Seven to the mole lords, great cosmopolitans and hair stylists of the beauty parlors. And nine….nine were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire to know their moods. For within these mood rings were given the decisiveness and power to figure out each race's mood swings. But they were all of them deceived. For another mood ring was made.

In the land of Jeldur, in the waters of the Mount Toilet, the dark, very dark, Lord Baron forged in secret a Master Mood Ring, to predict all the others' moods. And into this mood ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all moods…One Mood Ring to rule them all!

One by one, the free lands of Central Earth fell to the power of the mood ring…But there were some who didn't want other people to know their moods. A last alliance of Men and Bells marched against the armies of Jeldur, and on the seat of Mount Toilet, they fought for the moods of Central Earth.

Victory was near…But the power of the Mood ring could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope (and happy moods) had faded, that Bahildir, son of the king, took up his father's sword. 

Baron, the enemy of the free, moody people of Central Earth, was defeated.

The Mood Ring passed to Bahildir, who had this one chance to destroy the mood ring forever…But the moods of Men are easily swayed (as all we girls know)…And the Ring of power has a mood of its own. It betrayed Bahildir to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were because of our short term memory loss.

History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half years, the Mood Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer with incredible mood swings.

"My Mooooooodie."

The Mood Ring came to the creature Melvin, who took it deep into the burrows of the Crispy Mountains. And there it consumed him…and the mountains did too.

"It came to me, my own, my love, my own, my MOOODIE!"

The Mood Ring brought to Melvin unnatural moodiness and for the next five years it played with his moods. And in the crumbs of Melvin's burrow, in the Crispy Mountains, it waited.

Mood swings crept back into the forest of the world. Rumors grew of sunshine in the northeast, shoutings of an obviously named fear, and the Mood Ring of power perceived. Its mood had now come. It abandoned Melvin.

But something happened that the Mood Ring did not intend. Its mood was predicted by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A Bobbit, Nemo Flaggins of the Choir (lovely singing voice, though…eunuch ;))

For a time will come when Bobbits will predict the moods of all…

**This is the part of the story where you review.**

**More later!**


	2. Of New Jewelery

**Author's note: Here's the next chapter. We kind of skipped Bilbo's, or should I say, Nemo's, birthday party. We just skip right to where Frodo inherits the ring. This goes by the movie, not so much the books. Happy reading! Thanks for typing, Marie (my muse) cuz I'm too lazy to do so!**

**Marie's note: Hey, Rochelle came up with most of the storyline, but_ I'm_ the one who actually put it into words, so I deserve some credit! LOL! Just kidding. By the way, Rochelle says she gets credit for the name 'Melvin' instead of Gollum. She's still not quite sure how she did it.**

Bingaling settles himself into a large comfortable chair that surprisingly fit him even though he's about five times the size of a bobbit. He pulled out his pipe, fitting some of the Young Moby tobacco in it to smoke, and started to blow smoke cubes toward the ceiling.

"Mooodie…" He contemplated the happenings of Nemo's eleventh birthday party. Deep in thought, he didn't notice the pitter, patter of large bobbit feet approaching and entering the burrow.

"Nemo! Nemo?" A young bobbit glanced down at the tiled floor, noticing a small circle of metal and plastic. "Ooh, Nemo's Mood ring! It's shiny!" He picked it up, happily wondering what his mood was for the evening when he realized something. "But, Nemo never leaves his Mood Ring behind."

Bingaling, still lost in his thoughts, and his pipeweed, didn't even notice him, until, much to his surprise, the young bobbit came up and quietly put a hand on his shoulder. 

"CHILDREN OF THE CORN!" he yelled as he jumped about three feet in the air and tossing his pipe in the fire, his large head bumping the low ceiling of the burrow.

"He's gone, isn't he, Bingaling?" the little bobbit asked in a surprisingly calm manner, considering the fact that Bingaling had yet to recover from near heart failure.

Bingaling, upon composing himself, turned to the new master of Flag Top. "Ah, Dodo, I see you have Nemo's ring. He's gone, and he's left you Flag Top, along with all of his possessions." He tried to reach for the mood ring, but Dodo pulled away.

"No, I wanna see my mooodie!" He tried to put on the ring, but Bingaling stopped him.

"No, Dodo! Never put it on! Never!"

"Why, Bingaling?" whined Dodo, very frustrated that he still didn't know if he was in a good or bad mood that day.

"Because, this is the One Mood Ring of Power, forged by the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron. It cannot stay here and must be taken away from the Choir."

Dodo didn't like this idea. "But I can't leave the Choir! We have rehearsals tomorrow and I was gonna try out for the solo for the song 'In Nightmares'."

Bingaling looked at Dodo sternly, who timidly placed the mood ring into the envelope that Bingaling had brandished from underneath his long silvery white beard. Dodo knew that those eyebrows weren't kidding.

"Wait, why do I have to put it in an envelope?" the young bobbit asked, puzzled.

"Um, I don't know. Just looked like a good idea to me."

The two men looked at each other puzzled. They sat there for a second until they heard a noise coming from the pantry that sounded like someone scarfing down on Dodo and Nemo's secret stash of poppy seed cakes.

"Get down!" exclaimed Bingaling, automatically alarmed. Anyone who ate someone else's poppy seed cakes was not to be trusted.

The tall gizzard took his long stick thing and quickly opened the door, to have another, slightly larger around the middle, bobbit fall out.

"Cowboy scalps and squirrel tails! Spamdumb Smarty, what in corn's sake are you doing in Dodo's pantry?" Bingaling bellowed, picking up the small, and somewhat pudgy, creature by his suspenders.

"I was just…uh…organizing…?" Spam looked at him, his eyes wide greenish/grayish circles with black dots in them.

"A little early for spring cleaning, isn't it?"

This time Dodo, who had since gotten up from under the table where Bingaling had shoved him, spoke up, "But, Bingaling, its March!"

"Oh, uh, yes, well, what exactly did you hear, Spam?" he asked, flustered at his forgetting what month it was…again.

"Oh, just all the important stuff. I heard you saying something about a not very dark Lord named Sauron…or Garon…or the Red Baron…?"

Bingaling sighed. "Well, there may be some use for you yet."

**Author's note: Review!**

**Marie's note: We have a couple inside jokes smuggled into this chappie. We don't expect you to understand about children of corn, cowboy scalps, or squirrel tails. Or the whole thing with Spam's eyes. Don't even ask, unless you're prepared for a rather…long explanation**.


	3. Of Mushrooms and Anchovies

**Marie's note: Hey! I wrote this chappie! Credit goes to Rochelle for inspiration, but I actually wrote it! Thank you very much, Rochelle, my muse, for posting this for me!**

"Okay, so what am I supposed to do again, Bingaling?" Spam was practically dying from all the walking they did…all the way down to the road from Dodo's house. Yeesh!

Bingaling sighed. "You're to look after Dodo, you hear me? You're to accompany Dodo to the village of Debris and keep your eye on him."

"So, I'm supposed to go to Debris and leave Dodo here?"

"NO! You _and_ Dodo go to Debris. Meet me at the Inn of the Stampeding Elephant."

Spam sorted through this for a second then said, "Right. So go to Debris without Dodo and be sure to stay away from the Inn of the Stampeding Elephant."

"Argh! NO! Both of you go to Debris…"

"Both of us go to Debris…"

Bingaling continued. "And meet me at the Inn of the Stampeding Elephant, not to be confused with the Prancing Pony."

"Meet you at the Inn of the Prancing Pony."

Bingaling was nearly at the point of strangling the little bobbit when Dodo said, "Spam, just follow me, okay?"

Spam smiled brightly, "Oh, okay, Mr. Dodo!"

The two set out for Debris. They passed through beautiful country and farmland, all the with a lovely soundtrack playing in the background. Soon, while passing through a cornfield, they chanced upon a very unfortunate pile of obviously placed thorny sticks. I suppose they weren't that obviously placed though, since both Dodo and Spam tripped over them.

Apparently, they weren't the only ones since also upon the ground in the pile were Sad Scotchbuck and Mitten Look, both with bundles in their hands.

"Dodo!" exclaimed Mitten. "Look, Sad, it's Dodo Flaggins!"

The foursome picked their poked and punctured bodies out of the pile of sticks.

"Hello, Dodo!" said Sad, brushing off his coat and pulling out large and obnoxious thorns.

Suddenly they heard a high, squeaky and non-threatening voice yelling, "Come back here, you young hooligans!"

Spam at this point in time finally notices their bundles. "You've been stealing from Farmer Caterpillar's crop haven't you?"

Dodo looked curiously at the shiny food they were carrying and said, "Um…those look plastic."

"Mitten, where did you get that fruit?" asked Sad, intrigued, also looking at the somewhat fake looking apples.

"Well, I went into their cellar since I figured I might find some ale there and I found this nice little box labeled 'table settings'."

They all continued to look at him, wondering how this explained the wax fruit.

"Oh, and so I looked inside and found this food. It looked really good so I took it."

They sat there for a second, still staring at him wondering how such a large head could contain so few brain cells, until they heard more shouting and decided that the scythe that had appeared above the tops of the crops was probably a sign that they should start running.

Of course, they didn't expect that cliff to be there, although you'd think that the big billboard saying 'Drop Off Ahead' would be something of a clue, but you never know…

After falling down the rather rocky and painful precipice and landing in an extremely uncomfortable, not to mention dirty and embarrassing pile, the foursome picked themselves up…again…

"This is what you get for trusting a Brandybuck and a Took."

"Who's a Brandybuck and a Took?" asked Sad.

"No, you moron, he said 'must trust sandy, muck, and tooth,'" said Mitten, looking at all of them as if they were completely dense.

Dodo, ignoring the fact that the rest of his friends were complete idiots, said, "This is what you get for trusting a Scotchbuck and a Look."

"Scotch? Where? Does it come in pints?" Mitten looked around excitedly.

"Hey, are those…?" Spam pointed to a pile underneath a tree.

"Anchovies!" Mitten offered this comment, much to the annoyance of his counter part, Sad.

"No, your other favorite pizza topping!"

Mitten thought about this for a moment then asked, "Pineapple?"

"Mushrooms!"

"Hey, I love mushrooms! They're really good on pizza!"

Three of the bobbits rushed over to the pile of mushrooms, leaving Dodo to stare down the road with a concerned look on his face.

Suddenly Dodo realized that he had a concerned look on his face for a reason. "Get off the road!"

After hiding themselves in a conveniently hollowed out hiding place off the side of the road, a terrible and fearsome creature came prancing, er, stalking up the road.

The hideous beast was covered in a Barbie sheet, its revolting facial features covered up by a bright purple book cover. The faint aroma of a bed of spring flowers floated to the bobbit's nostrils.

Dodo suddenly felt this urge to put the mood ring on, but was stopped by Spam.

Sad quickly tossed their bag labeled 'Spare contacts' off into the woods, causing the creature to turn and ride after it.

The four bobbits raced off in the opposite direction not so sneakily.

"What was that?" asked Sad when they stopped to rest.

"Why did you throw Mr. Dodo's bag of spare contacts away? I think that was rather important," whispered Spam. He knew that this could turn ugly.

"I must get to the village of Debris." Dodo suddenly realized what Spam had said and screamed, "Wait, that was _my_ bag? I thought that was Spam's bag of taters! I need those! If I don't have them my eyes could lose their shockingly glaring blueness and…wait, not that I wear any contacts or anything…"

Once again, an awkward silence ensues.

Finally Sad said, "Right." He thought for a moment about how to escape the strange sweet smelling creatures. Suddenly he had an epiphany. "Good Golly Trolley! Follow me!"

The bobbits ran frantically toward the trolley, thinking they were being followed. coughcough**paranoid**coughcough

They jumped onto the trolley, gasping breathlessly.

"How far to the nearest stop?" panted Dodo.

"Flavored Water Bridge, 200 miles," replied Sad sadly.

"Well, this should take a while," replied Mitten.

**Marie's post note: Heyy! Well I hope you liked it! Please review! We're very lonely over here! Mitten is Pippin in case you didn't catch that. I figured you would, but just verifying.**

**Rochelle's note: THX Marie for thinking up all of this! For all ur peeps info Sad is the opposite of Merry. Merryhappy, sad opposite of happy! Get it? Got it. Good. Luv ya all!**


	4. Of Elephants and Pinkness

**Marie's note: Here is the next chapter, hope you like. The reason we got three chapters published in one day is because we have way too much time on our hands. We might not be so regular in the future, so just an FYI. Enjoy! **

**Rochelle: Gosh this chappie is hilarious. lol**

"Look! The Inn of the Stampeding Elephant! Finally we can stop and get some rest!" exclaimed Dodo.

The four bobbits were drenched from the rain that was pouring down on them. They had reached Debris, much to their relief, and though it wasn't the tidiest town (what can you expect from a town called 'Debris'?) they hoped they were safe from the strange riders that smelled like those murderous flowers.

"But I thought we were supposed to go to the Inn of the Prancing Pony…" said Spam.

"SHUT UP!" yelled the rest of them. Now they understood Bingaling's frustration.

"Ow!" the plump little bobbit exclaimed upon being pelted with Mitten's wax fruit.

The group entered the inn, which was filled with the smell of pipes and the sound of calls for more ale.

"Hey, this reminds me of the good old Red Lizard, back in the Choir. I wonder if they sell pints." Mitten, accompanied by Sad, looked around in wonder, relieved to find that the rest of the world appreciated good food and atmosphere as much as the bobbits.

Dodo approached the tall counter, trying to get the attention of the owner. "Excuse me," he said.

A round face appeared above the counter and it smiled. "Oh! Good evening, little masters. If you're seeking some rooms we have some nice bobbit sized accommodations available, Mr.…uh…" He waited for Dodo to respond.

"Uh, Baggins. My name is Frodo Baggins. We're friends of Bingaling the Silvery White. Could you tell him we've arrived?" Dodo thought his fake name was incredibly clever. Like there were actual bobbits walking around with the name 'Baggins'! Ha!

"Baggins, eh? Hmm…" Mr. Butterbiscuit thought for a moment. "Bingaling? Bingaling…" Suddenly he remembered. "Oh yes! I remember now. Old coot, long silvery beard, pointy hat!" He smiled and nodded.

Dodo relaxed a little at hearing this response.

"I've not seen him for six years!"

Dodo's face fell at this comment, but he didn't lose hope. He and Spam (Mitten and Sad had already gone in search of food) settled down with some drinks.

"He'll be here, Spam. Don't worry," said Dodo reassuringly.

"I smure hope smo…" he said, his face buried in the huge mug. Apparently the Stampeding Elephant didn't have bobbit sized utensils.

Dodo shrugged and guzzled a bit himself, waiting for the gizzard to arrive.

Little did he know that Bingaling was attending to some business of his own. Bingaling ran to a big thing (still not quite sure what you would call it). A tall figure cloaked in long, flowy, creamy-colored clothes came down the steps to meet him.

"Why if it isn't Bingaling, the Silvery White!" The high squeaky voice resonated irritatingly around the courtyard, the sound slightly resembling that of nails scraping a chalkboard.

Bingaling bowed low, partly out of respect, and partly because the sound made him double over in pain. "Taraman, the Creamy Meannie."

The two gizzards started to walk together, through Taraman's rather extensive collection of rare cacti (just don't try to climb them), discussing recent events. Bingaling sought council about the Mood Ring.

"So," said Taraman, "the Mood Ring has finally been found and all these years it has been in the Choir."

Bingaling nodded, chuckling slightly at his idiocy.

"Bingaling, the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron's forces have been growing."

This made Bingaling a might confused. "How do you know this?" he asked. They had since gone inside Taraman's building thing (like I said, not quite sure what it is).

"I have seen it," replied Taraman slyly.

They approached a covered object.

Bingaling immediately recognized it. "These are dangerous to use! They are not all accounted for!"

Taraman was slightly angered by this comment and said, "Why shouldn't we use it?"

Upon elaborately pulling off the cover, a…dun, dun, dun…COMPUTER was revealed!

"Because we don't know who else might be watching," replied Bingaling, covering it up again, but not without seeing a picture of the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron himself in his mind.

Taraman seated himself in a tall, cactus-shaped chair. "The minutes are later than you think, Bingaling."

Bingaling, not quite understanding this comment, stood with a bewildered look on his face.

"The Five have left Plus Morgul." Once again, Taraman's squeaky voice made a loud grating sound as it echoed off the walls.

"The Five!" exclaimed Bingaling in shock.

"They will hunt down the mood ring…and **kill** the one who carries it!"

Bingaling gasped. "Dodo!" He turned to leave but Taraman closed the large doors made of cactus with, I believe, his mind powers. Never underestimate a cream-color dressed guy with a high squeaky voice, especially if they have mind powers that control cactus covered doors.

"You didn't think a mere hobbit could contend to the will of Baron, did you?"

"You mean bobbit," Bingaling interrupted.

"I was monologuing and you interrupted me!" whined Taraman.

Bingaling shrugged. "Well, you made a grammatical error. They're bobbits, not hobbits. Who's ever heard of a hobbit?"

Taraman grumbled, but continued. "ANYWAY, we must join him, my dear friend, Bingaling. We must join the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron!"

"Tell me, friend," said Bingaling, "When did Taraman the Creamy Meannie abandon all madness for reason?"

"I don't think that's right."

Bingaling thought for a moment and then said, "Oh yeah!" He resumed his deep booming voice. "When did Taraman the Creamy Meannie abandon all reason for madness?"

This ticked Taraman off a little. He's kind of had a history of anger management issues, although his therapist had been saying he'd been doing very well. Anyway, this comment put him over the edge.

The two gizzards broke out into a huge fight but no matter how hard Bingaling fought with his long stick thing, Taraman obviously had the upper hand, what with all the man-eating cacti walking around. I told you they were a rare species.

"I gave you the chance to join me, but it looks like you've selected the way of major prickliness and pink fluffiness!" Taraman motioned for his cactus minions to bring out his secret weapon.

"Not the stuff animals! So much pinkness! NOOOO!"

**Post note: Well that's all for now! Thank you for your reviews so far. R&R!**

**Rochelle's Note: In case u ppl r confused, and some of u mite be: This is my story, my plot, my characters etc…Marie just put into words. Lord of the rings is her thing, and Phantom of the Opera is more mine. But yeah.**


	5. Of Burnt Fingers and Noses

**Marie's note: So, yeah, Rochelle is the one who originally came up with this idea, but I'm the one who wrote it out for her. Here's another chappie for ya. Hope you like it. Worked on it on a sugar high so it might be either extremely funny or extremely unintelligible. You decide. **

"Who, that fellow over there? Sure, he's my second cousin's aunt's nephew's third roommate's girlfriend's brother's grandson's best friend's third grade teacher's sister's son's neighbor."

The poor people at the Stampeding Elephant's bar tried to make sense of the family tree Mitten had just planned out about Dodo Flaggins.

"Er, what would that make you then?" asked a rather scraggily man who had a large jug of whiskey in his hand.

Mitten looked at them all as if they were stupid and then started all over again, "Well, that would make him my second cousin's aunt's nephew's third roommate's…."

Spam sighed at his antics. As long as he didn't say Mr. Dodo's real name, it was fine.

"Excuse me?" Dodo asked hesitantly of the man sitting behind him.

"Yeah?" he responded with a dark and gloomy voice.

"Could you pass the salt?" the little bobbit requested.

"Sure." The dirty man handed the salt to the small creature while saying, "Here ya go, kid."

"Thanks." Dodo salted his stew and then handed it back, all the while a little uneasy about the man. He stopped Mr. Butterbiscuit to ask him about him.

"Excuse me, but that man behind me? Who is he?"

Mr. Butterbiscuit got a rather nervous look on his face and he whispered, "Oh, he's one of them mysterious woodsmen. What his right name is I don't know, but 'round here, he's known as Strydex."

Dodo fingered his mood ring contemplatively. "Strydex…"

Suddenly he heard Mitten's voice saying, "Yes, his name is Dodo Flaggins. He's my second cousin's aunt's nephew's third roommate's girlfriend's brother's grandson's best friend's third grade teacher's sister's son's neighbor."

Dodo abruptly got up in alarm, rushing over to Mitten. Unfortunately he tripped over another one of those unfortunate piles of thorny sticks (funny how those keep turning up, huh?). This sudden fall caused the mood ring to fly from his hand! Upon trying to catch it, the mood ring decided that now was a good time to find out what Dodo's mood was for the day, and I can tell you that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.

Dodo suddenly entered a world filled with Teletubbies and horrible Barney videos! He screamed in terror and then he saw a vision that horrified him even more, and Barney videos are pretty horrifying already!

It was the great Nose of the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron! It was sniffing around and it said, "I smell you!"

Again, Dodo screeched in fright and tore the ring from his finger, causing him to scream again because tearing mood rings from fingers isn't exactly the wisest thing to do because a lot of the time parts of said finger go with it.

Dodo tried to start sucking on his poor finger when a hand reached out and grabbed him from underneath the bench Dodo had crawled.

"You draw far too much attention to yourself, Mr. _Baggins_"

Dodo found that the hand was attached to a very strong arm which propelled him up some stairs to a room, where he was tossed in. He turned around and got up from the ground where he had been shoved and saw that the hand and the arm were not, in fact, just floating, severed appendages, but were connected to a rather broad chest and shoulders and neck and head and legs and, well, you get the picture.

"That is no trinket you carry!" the man exclaimed. It was the same deep and gloomy voice that had belonged to the man that had passed him the salt. He started putting out the candles, only to burn his fingers. He started to run around, screaming, and sucking on his scalded fingers.

Once he contained himself he said, "I can avoid being seen if I want to, but to disappear entirely…" He pulled off his hood gingerly, avoiding the tips of his burnt fingers, revealing a somewhat troubled face. "…That is a rare gift," he finished.

"What are you?" Dodo asked.

"Don't you mean 'who' am I?" the man, who Dodo now recognized as Strydex, asked, a little puzzled.

"No, I mean who are you, not who am I? I know who I am."

"But you said what am I? and I assumed that you meant who am I?" Strydex explained.

"I don't need to know who I am; I've already told you that! And I know _what_ I am too, thank you very much!" Dodo was tiring of this man and his stupidity.

Strydex sighed and said, "Oh, never mind. Are you frightening?"

"I don't know, am I? I don't think I look frightening, although I might since stupid Sad threw away my spare contacts and these aren't nearly as blue as the other ones….not that I wear any…"

"No, I mean are you frightened?" asked Strydex.

"But you said…"

"Oh never mind. I know what it is that hunts you!" He listened at the door, thinking that he heard something.

Amazingly enough, he was right. Suddenly the door burst open and in rushed Spam, followed closely by Mitten and Sad who were armed with a chair.

Strydex, on impulse, reached for what he thought was his sword. He ended up with a plunger. "Uh, I can explain…"

"Let him go, or I'll have at you!" exclaimed Spam, fists up, ready to combat this mysterious woodsman who was armed with a plunger.

Strydex sheathed his plunger, wondering where his sword had gotten to, and said, "You have a stout heart, little bobbit, but that will not save you from…" He stopped when he heard mooing sounds coming from outside. "You must hide!"

The Barbie-sheeted, book-covered, flower-smelling creatures entered a room containing four beds. Since they are a bit trigger happy, or should I say, stab happy, they pulled out their swords and started stabbing away at the lumps in the beds. When they were done, they pulled back the covers, only to realize that they had been stabbing teddy bears and stuff animals for the last ten minutes.

The creatures broke into a chorus of moos, striking fear in the hearts of the bobbits, who had been moved to another inn across the street (I believe it was called the Prancing Pony…must've been Spam's idea…).

"Who are they?" asked Dodo, leaning against the bed.

"Don't you mean what are they?" asked Strydex.

Dodo sighed and said, "Now don't start that again!"

"Okay, okay!" This time Strydex sighed and said, "They are the Nasals, the Ringroses. They are neither living nor dead. They were once great presidents of men. Then Baron the deceiver gave them five mood rings of power. Blinded by their mood swing, they took them without question. One by one they fell into darkness. Now they are slaves to the dark, very dark Lord Baron. They will never stop smelling for you!"

**Marie: So what do ya think? We can't know unless you review! Thx! And thx to you too, Rochelle!**


	6. Of Wilderness and Clowns

**Marie: Ha! Another chapter! Once again, three chapters written in one day…I'm sensing a pattern here…lol. Anyway, R&R.**

"Hey, this looks like The Wild," commented Sad, surveying their surroundings.

The group of now five, led by Strydex, had set out early that morning, hoping to avoid the Nasals.

"Who's wild?" asked Mitten, trudging along behind Sad.

"Nobody's wild, but you're stupid." Spam gets in a foul mood when he's stayed up all night having nightmares about Barbie sheets, Teletubbies, and Barney videos.

"Who's stupid?" asked Mitten.

"Shut up!" A very foul mood…

Suddenly the bobbits stopped. Once you hear Mitten's stomach growl you know that you had better stop before things got ugly.

Strydex, however, did not understand this concept. When he realized that they were no longer traipsing behind him, he stopped and looked back. The sight of the bobbits stopping to eat made him roll his eyes.

"Gentlemen, we do not stop 'til nightfall."

Mitten looked at him, bewildered. "But what about lunch?" he asked.

"It's supposed to be breakfast, Mitt," whispered Sad.

Mitten looked at him now, bewildered. "We've already had it."

"We've had one yes. What about second breakfast?" Suddenly Sad realized that this conversation seemed a might odd and mixed up

Strydex just rolled his eyes again and started to move on.

"I don't think he knows about lunch or second breakfast, Mitten." Sad picked up his stuff and started to move on.

"Well, what about tensies, supperon, morning tea, lunch, dinner? He knows about them, doesn't he?" Mitten followed Sad, who looked a little annoyed.

"Mitten, he doesn't know about elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, or supper, alright?" He continued walking.

"Well, I know that. But what about tensies, supperon, morning te…" He was stopped, as he was knocked unconscious for a few moments by more flying wax fruit.

"Hmm…that fruit came in handy more than I thought," commented Sad, as he stared down at his knocked out friend.

After arousing Mitten, the group started on again, eventually reaching a destination to stop at.

"This is the old watchtower of Comin' Soon. We will rest here tonight." Strydex led the way to the naturally watch shaped pillar of rock ahead of them.

After Strydex left the bobbits to go keep watch, Dodo decided he wanted to sleep, since he had been kept awake by Spam's constant mutterings about Teletubbies…

He awoke a little while later, hearing strange noises. The sight that met him made him recoil in horror.

His bobbit friends were all jumping around, waving flashlights, and singing "Barney is a Dinosaur"! He rushed up to them, tackling the nearest one, who ended up being a still grumpy Spam.

"Turn them off, you fools! Turn them off!" He wrestled Spam's flashlight out of his hands and turned it off.

But he was too late. The damage had been done. No more than 2 minutes later did they start hearing the audible moos that belonged to the Nasals. Dodo, realizing that they were no longer in a safe position, motioned for them to go to the top of the watch shaped rock formation.

No sooner were they upon the top of the hill when the Nasals appeared in view, this time covered in sheets with pictures of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them. They mooed terrifyingly when they saw the bobbits huddled in a corner.

Spam tried his best to defend Dodo, but he tripped on another of those piles of thorny sticks (a bit of a nuisance, aren't they?), pulling Sad and Mitten down with him.

This surprised the Nasals, who had not expected to be attacked the bobbits, nor had they expected for said bobbits to go tumbling down to the ground without them even doing anything.

The lead Nasal spotted Dodo and advanced. Dodo quickly put on the mood ring, causing him to be pushed into the weird shadowy world of the ring. He saw the Nasals for what they really were- clowns, spawns of Satan.

He tried to get away, but the lead Nasal progressed toward him, only to trip over the pile of thorny sticks, still containing three bobbits. He plunged headlong into Dodo, stabbing him near fatally in the chest with his blade.

Dodo ripped the mood ring off, once again forgetting that this, in turn, tore skin off too, and howled in pain, not only about his finger, but that pesky little stab in his shoulder.

"Spam!" he yelled, not noticing that Strydex was now fighting off the Nasals with a crucifix and holy water. So they're vampiric clowns too? Gasp!

Spam rushed over, still picking out thorns and inspected the gaping hole in Dodo's shoulder. "It's but a flesh wound, Mr. Dodo! Tell them to come back here. You'll bite their legs off!"

Dodo stared at his friend, wondering if he had received a concussion as well when he had tripped over those sticks.

Strydex, having warded off the last of the Nasals, raced over to Dodo and picked up the blade that had stabbed him.

"He's been stabbed with the Morgul Blade of the Hopping Dingalings. They never stop hopping, in case you didn't know. He needs Bellish medicine." Strydex picked Dodo up and carried him to a safe place as fast as his feet would carry him.

"But we're three hundred days from Driven-Dell! He'll never make it!" yelled Spam.

Apparently Strydex hadn't heard, so he reluctantly followed him into the Wild once again, thinking of how concerned he was for Dodo and wondering if this meant he was going to see Bells sometime soon…

**Post note: All I've gotta say is R&R! Thx!**


	7. Of Jersey and Weeds

**Note: By the way, in the last chapter when Spam says, "It's but a flesh wound, Mr. Dodo. Tell them to come back here! You'll bite their legs off!" that is a bit of Monty Python talking. Hehe! The Black Knight…for those of you who haven't seen it, you won't get it, so sorry. Here is the next chapter! Have fun! And please review! We need encouragement!**

Mitten looked down at his friend, the gravity of the situation sinking in. "Is he going to die?" he asked, getting more concerned about Dodo and less concerned about skipping dinner.

"No, he will soon become a Nasal like them and enter the shadow world, crawling with clowns. He will soon be far beyond our reach," Strydex responded, a little distracted as he was looking along the ground.

Mitten looked at him in horror. Clowns? But clowns were pure…pure…evil! Even Mitten knew that!

"Spam!" Strydex beckoned the bobbit over to him.

"Yes, Strydex?" he asked, wanting to do anything for his injured master.

"Do you know the Joe bob plant?"

"Joe bob?" Spam was a gardener and he had never heard of that, and he thought he had heard of everything.

"Queens iron."

"Queens iron? Well thats a weed!"

Strydex nodded. "Yes, but it might help slow the poison."

Spam glanced at his master, who was already trying to get up and hop around, but was being restrained by the two other bobbits. He quickly set off in search of the weed.

Strydex went in the other direction, swiftly locating the plant with ease. He knew how to spot things easily. He drew out his knife and started cutting away when he felt a blade at his throat.

"What's this?" asked a loudvoice with Jersey accent. "A mysterious woodsman caught off his guard?"

Dodo wasn't sure what he was seeing. It looked like a beautiful woman with…with pointy ears! Who had pointy ears? He knew it was someone important... He then realized that she had started talking.

"Blah nener blah smackledorf blue snerfum hagger Darwinsay," said the woman with a voice that sounded strangely like it belonged in New Jersey…

In the Common Tongue it meant, "Dodo, my name is Darwin. Hear my voice. Come back to the light."

"He is fadin'," Darwin said when she came up to him. She looked at the wound as Strydex placed some of the chewed up weed on it. "He won't last. He must get him to my dad. If I can get him across the water then the power of my people will protect him."

Strydex looked concerned. Despite the accent and somewhat crude ways, Darwin was a rather amazing Bell. "It's too dangerous!" he exclaimed.

She rolled her eyes and said tauntingly, "I'm the faster rider!"

Her male counterpart sighed, knowing this to be true. Of course he wished she had said it in a more polite manner… He reluctantly nodded his head and let her mount her horse, handing Dodo up to her.

"Has so flafo blue," Darwin whispered to her horse, who took off upon hearing them, toward Driven-Dell, as fast as her hooves would carry her.

"What are you doing? Those Nasals are still out there!" Spam called out, not to be heard…again.

Darwin raced speedily through the wilderness, careful to avoid areas where she last saw the Nasals.

It seems that she wasn't careful enough, for after a while she realized she was being followed, first by one, then another, then another, until all of the Five were after her, swiftly riding their sturdy cows, mooing all the way.

The chase went on for quite a while, until Darwin finally came to the river. She promptly crossed it, pulled out her sword and turned to face them.

"Give up the Semi-ling, She Bell!" the lead Nasal mooed to her.

"If you want him, come and claim him!" She raised her sword higher, taunting them to come get him. With her somewhat annoying voice, it did the job.

The group of Nasals started into the river, a little hesitant at first.

"Eaney meany miney moe," Darwin started to whisper at the water, her voice growing louder with intensity. "Catch a tiger by its toe!"

The Nasals looked at her, thinking she was just a little nuts.

"If it hollers let it go…" Maybe they were right.

"My mom says to pick the very best one and you…are…IT!"

The Nasals dropped over in the river, stunned by the strange Bellish spell.

Darwin smiled in victory, but this victory was short lived. She glanced down at Dodo, whose face had started to turn white and hair to turn into a red afro. He was going into the world of the Nasals- turning into a vampiric clown!

"No, Dodo! Don't give in! Not now!" she exclaimed. She felt tears coming to her eyes and she hugged him, hoping against hope that he survived and also that he didn't use this chance to bite her neck and turn her into a vampiric clown also…

**Note: Yeah, I know, it's not as funny, but this one is kind of a serious part in the story. The next chapter is sure to be a side-splitter. Don't worry. PLEASE review!**


	8. Of Suspenders and Clubs

**Marie's note: Another chappie for ya'll. Hope ya like it! Please, please review. We're lonesome!**

Dodo awoke with a piercing pain in his shoulder. "Where am I?'

"Don't you mean who am I?' asked a familiar voice.

"That too," he responded groggily.

"You are Dodo Flaggins of the Choir. You're in the house of Jelrond, in Driven-Dell. And today is the October the 24th, in case you wanted to know."

Dodo sat up in bed, wondering who this person was and why it seemed he had been unconscious for the past few months. And who was Jelrond?

Suddenly he heard someone clear their throat. "Uh, Bingaling…it's only the end of March…"

Dodo's vision cleared and he realized that Bingaling was sitting by his bed, puffing on his pipe. This made sense, since the person who had been talking to him had forgotten what month it was…again. And there was only one person that Dodo knew who did this.

The thing that puzzled Dodo was how Bingaling had gotten there.

"Bingaling, what happened? Why didn't you meet us?" he asked.

Bingaling looked distressed. "Oh, I am sorry, Dodo. I was…delayed."

The gizzard thought back to what had happened earlier…

"A friendship with the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron is not just thrown aside lightly."

Taraman circled Bingaling, who was sitting inside a circle of fluffy pillows and stuffed animals. It was supposed to scare him to death, I suppose.

"You know what, Taraman? You're off your rocker!" Bingaling got up. 'I'm outta here!"

Taraman stood there for a moment, not thinking to call in his cactus minions and completely forgetting his new army of Dorks.

"Come back here! Bingaling the Silvery White! I out rank you!" Taraman watched in dismay as Bingaling simply walked out…taking his long stick thing with him.

"Bingaling?"

He was brought out of his flashback by Dodo's voice. He smiled at him, happy that his little bobbit friend was alive and also happy that he himsBell was also.

"Thanks to the skill of Lord Jelrond, you're beginning to mend."

A tall, old, wrinkly Bell with very scary looking eyebrows (worse than Bingaling's and that's saying something) appeared, trying to smile at Dodo, only it came across as more of a grimace.

Suddenly a tiny, pudgy blur rushed into the room. Before Dodo knew it, Spam was sitting by his side.

"Bless my suspenders, Mr. Dodo! You're awake!" When he said this he snapped his suspenders, then winced as they whacked his chest with a smack.

"Spam here has hardly left your side," commented Bingaling with a smile.

Once Dodo had had a little bit more rest he was summoned to the council of Jelrond. Dodo saw many races from all over Central Earth- Moles, Bells, Men…

"Strangers from distant lands, you have been called here for one reason. Dodo, the mood ring?" Jelrond motioned for Dodo to set the trinket on a low stone pillar. He did so.

Everyone gasped at the sight of the One Mood Ring.

"So it's true," whispered a man. He got up and addressed the council. "It is a gift! Long have the people of Delondor kept the forces of Jeldur at bay! By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Why not use the mood ring to defeat the forces of Jeldur?"

At this remark Strydex leaped up and countered him. "We cannot wield it! None of us can! The mood ring answers to Baron alone. It has no other owner."

Doromir of Delonder turned toward him menacingly. "And what would a mere mysterious woodsman know of this?"

Suddenly a Bell jumped up and shouted, sounding like he was trying to have a deeper voice than he really had, "This is no mere mysterious woodsman! He is Thonagong, son of Bonagong!"

Doromir stared at Strydex. "This is Bahildir's heir?"

"And heir to the throne of Delondor. You owe him your allegiance!" The Bell was really getting into his spiel.

Dodo looked at the woodsman with new interest. The weird dirty man with the deep voice who had escorted them from Debris was the lost king of Delondor? Dodo thought that maybe this meant he should take a shower…

"Sit down, Lego-lord-as," said Thonagong, even though he had already sat down. You'd think a king would be a little quicker…

Doromir glared at Thonagong, "Delondor has a king, but Delondor needs no king." He sat down and continued to glare at the woodsman, until he realized that he had said that wrong. 'Wait…"

Jelrond ignored him. "You have only one choice. The Mood ring must be destroyed." Jelrond liked to project, his booming voice bouncing off the stone walls.

"Alrighty then!" A mole, who was famous for creating the latest trends in hair cuts (Moles are very good hair stylists you know), jumped up and tried to cut the mood ring with his clippers, which were swiftly broken into little tiny pieces (the clippers, not the mood ring).

Jelrond rolled his eyes and said, "The mood ring cannot be destroyed by any weapon we here possess, Blini, son of Bloin. It must be cast back into the Toilet Bowl from whence it came." He paused. "One of you must do this."

Doromir put a hand to his forehead and sighed. "One does not simply walk into Jeldur. It is guarded by more than just Dorks. And the great nose of Baron is ever smelling. It is a bed of roses, riddled with fluffy pinkness; the very air you breathe is a poisonous perfume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this."

Lego-lord-as Greentea jumped to his feet…again…and said, "Have you heard nothing Lord Jelrond has said? The ring must be destroyed!"

Doromir started to argue with him. And Blini, thinking that this meant that the Bell wanted to take the mood ring, got mad and moles are known for their tempers. Soon the whole council was arguing and yelling at each other.

Dodo was very distressed and started hearing those voices in his head again. He started to talk to himsBell, which had always helped before.

_Ha! Your stupid little friends all hate each other and it's all your fault_.

Dodo got mad at the voice in his head. "My fault? It's not my fault. You're the one who told me to agree to taking the mood ring all the way here in the first place. It is not my fault they're arguing. They're arguing about who's going to take it to Jeldur. Haven't you been listening?"

_You will take it. You will take the mood ring to Jeldur._

"I will take it? I will take the mood ring to Jeldur?" Dodo yelled. He had never heard such a ridiculous idea in all his life. He scoffed at it.

Much to his surprise, his outburst got quite a lot of attention. Everything got quiet and all of a sudden he had eight people pledging to go with him to Jeldur, including Spam, Mitten and Sad.

"Nine companions…" said Jelrond. "Very well then. You shall be the Mood Ring Club."

Dodo didn't think this was too bad. He figured he'd just slip the mood ring into Spam's bag on the way…

"Great!" exclaimed Mitten. "Where are we going?"

**Marie's end note: Well that's it. Hope you liked it. Please send reviews to let us know what you think! Thank you!**


	9. Of Crackers and Salons

**Marie's note: For some reason Rochelle changed Legolordas's name to "Lego-lord-as" before she posted it. I don't know why. It's supposed to be "Legolordas". Just clearing that up. Hope you like this chapter. We skipped Caradhras (is that how you spell it) because…we wanted to. So yeah. Enjoy!**

**Rochelle: For all yalls info I changed it to Lego-lord-as because it could easily be misread as Legolordas, and ppl mite not notice the difference, especially if one reads fast like I do…AHEM.**

The group set out the next day, their route already planned out by Bingaling, although some weren't sure if they should trust their lives to a gizzard who could never remember what month it was…

Dodo had decided that maybe he should keep the mood ring. After all, it was able to predict his mood at the drop of a hat if he put it on. And it helped him disappear too. How awesome was that?

He pondered all this as he watched Sad and Mitten learning to fight from Doromir. Of course, Doromir hadn't seen Sad and Mitten armed with fruit. They were pretty good shots.

Blini and Spam were eating, while Bingaling and Thonagong were smoking some good old pipeweed, fresh from the Choir. Lego-lord-as was the lookout.

All seemed fine until Lego-lord-as walked over to a certain area on the side of the cliff. He noticed something lying on the ground.

He gasped. "Crackers from Funland!" he exclaimed, staring at the pile of crumbled up crackers.

"Run away!" yelled Blini. He dashed underneath a rock.

Everyone hid, hoping that the crackers would go on their merry way. Bingaling peeked his head out of the bush where he was hiding under, looking to see if they had left.

"They're still here! Run away!"

Everyone got up and hid in different places.

"They're still here! Run away!"

They shuffled places again.

This went on for about an hour until they finally realized that Crackers from Funland didn't move, but were stationary, inanimate objects. The group moved a ways up the hill and sat down, wondering what they were going to do next.

"They're spies from Taraman," said Bingaling, puffing away on his pipe. "This passage is being watched."

The Mood Ring Club all gasped.

"What do we do now?" asked Mitten.

"Let us go through the Beauty Parlors of Gloria. My cousin Marlin would give us a royal welcome." Blini seemed very enthusiastic about this.

Bingaling was very troubled about this suggestion. He knew what was in Gloria. In fact, he could hear Taraman's evilly squeaky voice talking about it at that very moment.

"Gloria…the moles cut too quickly and too short. You know what they awoke in the artificial fluorescent light- a terrible demon!"

Bingaling thought for a moment and then said slowly, "Let the Ring-Bearer decide."

Dodo looked up, surprised that he was given the decision. He was contemplating what he was going to do when that pesky little voice inside his head started talking again.

_You know you've always wanted chestnut highlights in those dark brown locks. We will go through the beauty parlor_.

"We will go through the beauty parlor?" Dodo once again scoffed at his voice's ideas. Yeah right!

But once again his little talking to himself issue caused quite a reaction. Suddenly everyone was gathering up their stuff and getting ready for the long trip to the Beauty Parlors of Gloria.

"So be it," said Bingaling as they started off.

The trip took a while, but they eventually got to the doorway of Gloria.

"Hmm, that's odd," commented Blini, noticing that the florescent lights were off, when they were normally on twenty four hours, since they got electricity all through the beauty parlors back in the 2nd age. They also got cable.

Bingaling went up to the door, letting the moonlight spill over it. The lights turned on all of a sudden, but the doors wouldn't open.

"It says 'Speak friend and enter'," Bingaling read.

Sad spoke up. "What do ya suppose that means?" he asked.

"Well, it's quite simple. If you're a friend you speak the password and the doors will open." Bingaling went up to the doors, put his stick thing against it and said, "Open Sesame!"

Nothing happened.

"Hmm…that's odd."

So, the Mood Ring Club sat there, waiting, waiting, and still waiting, because that old fogey Bingaling couldn't remember the stupid password!

Suddenly, thanks to the voice inside his head, Dodo figured it out. "It's a riddle!" he exclaimed. "What's the Bellish word for 'friend'?" he asked Bingaling.

Bingaling looked down at him (bobbits are really short, you know). "Kellogg," he said in a very ominous voice.

The doors suddenly opened…into the Beauty Parlors of Gloria

**Rochelle's Note: WHOO! That was funn! Ladies and Gentlemen you have just witnessed the work of two (I did HELP) LOTR geeks, with too much time on their hands! BRAVO! R&R!**


	10. Of The Little Sister

**Marie's Note: All I have to say is read it and review it. Thanks!**

In their day, the Beauty Parlors of Gloria were a place to behold. You could get your hair cut, dyed, trimmed or highlighted. Skilled Mole manicurists were waiting to cut, polish, and paint your nails so that they rivaled even the fairest Bell's.

But this happy time had since been forgotten, and the parlors had fallen into decay and disarray. The Mood Ring Club found this out when they stepped through those great doors. The easy-to-adjust swivel chairs needed new upholstery. There were clippers and old editions of _Bell_ magazine strewn about and littering the linoleum floors.

Blini looked around at the mess and cried out in despair. "NOOOOO!"

Lego-lord-as looked down at a pair of thick, but broken, glasses and the truth dawned on him. "Dorks!"

"We should leave. We should never have come here!" Doromir turned to leave but all of a sudden the doors closed by themselves. Apparently the same kinds of doors that automatically open can be programmed to automatically close too.

Thonagong turned to push the convenient 'override' button, but it was too late. Mitten had leaned against the inconvenient button that said, "Push this button to cause automatic closing doors to stay automatically closed," trapping the whole Mood Ring Club inside the Beauty Parlors of Gloria.

"Well that's just great! Now we have to go all the way through these outdated beauty parlors! Urgh!" Bingaling complained, obviously upset about the whole scenario. He didn't like the Moles because of that unfortunate Mohawk they gave him quite a while ago, back when the Moles had gone retro, trying to bring back the '80s.

The group journeyed almost silently through Gloria, only stopping once when Bingaling forgot something again. I think it was that he forgot the way, which wouldn't be surprising, coming from a man who can't even remember what day it is.

At this small interlude in their quest, Dodo took the time to talk to himself, lamenting over having to carry the One Mood Ring all the way to Jeldur.

As he was going over all this and whining to himself he noticed something that the artificial lights glinted off something that looked like spectacles. He rushed to Bingaling, alarmed.

"Bingaling, there's something down there!" He exclaimed, pointing. He was afraid the glasses were attached to the face of a Dork.

The gizzard seemed unphased by this remark. "It's Melvin."

Dodo was amazed at this discovery. "Melvin?"

"He's been following us for 3 days," said Bingaling, obviously unconcerned about the matter.

Melvin. Dodo had learned a lot about Melvin from Nemo. Melvin was who Nemo got the ring from. The queer (and no, not queer as in 'gay', queer as in how it was originally used in the English language- weird) creature had carried it with him into the Crispy Mountains, keeping it for five years.

Finally Bingaling figured out which path to choose (took him long enough) and they continued on their merry way.

The next disturbing thing to happen to the club was when they discovered Marlin's room. Blini recognized it and rushed toward the opening, hoping to find his dear cousin still alive. The sight that met him made him gasp.

All that was left of old Marlin of Gloria was a pile of cut, dyed, and highlighted hair, sitting by a Dork's outdated hair dryer.

Blini was blown away (not literally, of course, since that is what hair dryers do to Moles, as everyone knows- they literally blow the moles away, leaving only their hair to remember them by). "NOOOOO!" he exclaimed for the second time that day. He must like that expression.

"He is gone then," Bingaling said regretfully.

The group milled about, looking at the remnants of the once glorious and thriving enterprise that was the Beauty Parlors. Mitten came upon a deep well and he just couldn't resist.

"Yodel-e-hi-hoooooooo!" Mitten was known back in the Choir for his yodeling. Of course he was also known as not being the brightest bulb in the box…

So, that is why his yodeling down the well, which echoed something fierce, was not appreciated very much by the rest of the club.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" Bingaling was so upset he got Mitten's name wrong.

"Who's a Took?" asked Sad.

"No, you idiot, he said rule of a book!" Blini wasn't all the bright either.

"Who's a book?" asked Mitten.

"No," said Spam. "He said mule of a mook."

"He meant to say Fool of a Look!" exclaimed an exasperated Dodo. He turned to Spam, puzzled. "What's a 'mook'?"

Their debate was cut short when they heard a strange sound.

"What is this new angelry?" asked Doromir.

"Devilry," whispered Thonagong. He couldn't let a fellow Delondorian go about with such a horrible grammatical error hanging over his head.

"Did you just call me devilry?" asked the other man, quite angered by the comment.

"No, I…"

The future king never finished his sentence. Bingaling had made a dramatic motion for them to be quiet so he could make a theatrical comment.

He bent over his stick thing and said, "This is a great evil that the moles awoke in the deep- a foe too great and terrible to imagine."

Everyone waited for him to explain what this horrible thing was. Dodo couldn't think anything was worse than those vampiric clowns that ran around in Barbie sheets, but he supposed that he was open to anything new.

"THE LITTLE SISTER! RUN!"

Gasp! The dreaded little sister! Dodo had no idea that they still existed!

"Play with me! Play with me!" The horrid thing came skipping after the fleeing group, her hideous pig-tails bouncing up and down with every step.

They finally got to the Great Crossing and everybody crossed…except Bingaling.

He turned around and dramatically said, "You shall not pass!"

The little sister giggled and repeated her deadly phrase, "Play with me!" She took a step forward.

Bingaling stomped his long stick thing on the bridge, saying, "You cannot pass!"

"Bingaling, stop trying to gain yourself a dramatic death scene and come on! We have an appointment in Gothlorien in a few hours!" Thonagong tapped his booted foot impatiently.

But Bingaling was intent on what he was doing. The little sister took another step and the weight of her chubby legs broke the bridge, the reverberation causing Bingaling to lose his balance and fall, only to grab on to the very edge of what was left of the Great Crossing.

Deciding to mix things up a bit, he imitated Taraman by saying in a loud squeaky voice, "Fly, you fools!" And then, of course, he was dumb enough to let go.

Dodo realized that he should probably start screaming his head off so he yelled loudly, obviously stealing Blini's favorite line, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO take a breather OOOOOOOOOOOO!"

There was nothing else they could do. The Dorks were coming and would be on top of them soon, you could tell by hearing their loud breathing and them puffing on their inhalers.

Dodo had to be picked up by Doromir; he was in too much shock to move.

Bingaling…was gone.

**Post note: Haha! I love drama! Tehe! Anyway, much credit goes to Rochelle, the wonderful person who came up with this idea. Go you! Hope you guys liked this chappie! **


	11. Of Germans and Schizophrenia

**Marie: Yet another chapter in our extraordinarily idiotic epic about a bobbit who takes a mood ring to destroy it in the toilet bowl from whence it came. sniffle It's so beautiful. By the way, we do not mean to offend anyone when we make fun of the characters. We both love Lord of the Rings, but its just entertaining to poke fun sometimes. Enjoy!**

The weary and sorrow-ridden travelers known as the Mood Ring Club stumbled into the woods of Gothlorien, wondering if this mysterious Bell sorceress would take them in or not.

Suddenly the Bells came upon them quietly, their arrows pointed at each of the Club's members.

"The Lady of Gothlorien is waiting for you. Come with us," the lead Bell commanded in a soft voice. Luckily he wasn't like Legolordas and was proud of his not-so-masculine voice that had a trace of a German accent.

Thonagong seemed to recognize this certain Bell and said, "Hitler of Gothlorien!" He bowed low and then followed after him.

The rest of the Club followed Hitler also, to the very center of Gothlorien where, along with a great but creepy soundtrack, they met the great Lady.

Laaaaa…laaaaaa…laaaa (that's the Lothlorien soundtrack, okay? Work with me!)

That's when they saw her. The one, the only, Lady…drum roll please…Gladbags.

"Welcome, weary travelers. Come now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow. Tonight you will…"

Lady Gladbags droned on, but Dodo wasn't listening anymore. For one thing the outfit was a bit distracting. It was made entirely of trash bags!

Also, he thought that the voice in his head had returned but then he found out it was a new voice.

_Welcome, Dodo of the Choir- one who has seen the NOSE!_

Dodo's normal voice in his head was distraught at having to share his space.

_Oh, great. There goes the neighborhood_.

The Club was indeed weary and was glad to be able to sit down and rest, lamenting over the loss of their dear, but forgetful, friend, Bingaling. They heard the elves singing a lament for him, in their still great but creepy voices.

Soon everyone fell asleep…well everyone but Dodo. He was restless so when he saw the weird Lady Gladbags rustled by (well, what do you expect from an outfit entirely made of plastic trash receptacles?) he decided to follow her.

Half of this was because of the voice in his head.

_Go follow that weird Bell lady. I wanna see her try to take my space in your mind again. I'll show her! Besides, I was here first!_

Dodo thought his voice was being a bit territorial, but he figured that there was no harm to it and he was a bit curious.

He came up to her and saw that she was pouring water into a bowl.

"Will you look into the bowl?" she asked in her elegant but spine-chilling voice (can those two be combined?)

"What will I smell?" was Dodo's response.

The Lady of Gothlorien was puzzled by this comment. "You won't smell anything."

"Well, then what will I see?"

She was dimmer than he had originally thought. Everyone knew that the sense of smell was so much more important than the sense of sight. Just look at Baron- he was a giant nose! That's got to tell you something.

"Even the wisest cannot tell, for the bowl shows many things." She paused, then continued. "Things that are, things that were and things that shall be…or, wait, maybe its things that were, things that are, and things that can't be…wait…"

Dodo sighed and was about to sit down on the ground when she finally got it.

"Oh yeah! Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass." She smiled triumphantly and then changed it to solemn look, motioning for him to look into the bowl.

Dodo stepped up to it and glanced in. First he saw nothing but soon a tidal wave came up and changed it. He saw each of the Mood Ring Club- Legolordas, Doromir, Thonagong, Sad and Mitten, Blini, and then Spam.

Suddenly it changed once again and he saw all his friends being tortured by the outdated Barney videos that had struck fear in his heart when he first put the mood ring on.

He tore himself from the horrifying vision and landing with a resounding thump on the ground, his hand clutching the mood ring.

"I know what it is you saw," said Lady Gladbags. "For it is also in my mind."

_It is what will happen should you fail_.

Dodo shuddered upon hearing her voice in his mind. She really liked doing that.

_Hey! Shove off! I was here first!_

Oh no! Dodo's other voice was challenging Lady Gladbags!

_Can't we all just get along?_

That was Dodo's normal subconscious that was always being shoved aside by the evil side of his mind. Suddenly, his evil voice took back control.

_Since you don't ask it of me, I won't give you the One Mood Ring_.

I suppose this was supposed to seem like an insolent remark, but it seemed like Lady Gladbags took this wrong.

"You offer it to me freely." Lady Gladbags looked at the mood ring that Dodo was holding out in his hand. "I do not deny that my moods have greatly desired this." She started to come toward him.

Apparently she thought that he was offering it to her. Who would've thunk it?

Suddenly she turned a very ugly shade of green and started yelling something about being a queen and that she was both beautiful and terrible (Dodo couldn't argue there) and yada, yada, yada.

_Ew, she's green!_

Dodo sighed. This voice was getting insufferable!

Eventually Lady Gladbags calmed down and said she passed the test and would diminish.

"You mean you passed your horse driver's test? That's great! I bet you're going to get one of those sporty horses that's all white, right? Maybe you should paint green accents on it, since you tend to go for that color sometimes."

Dodo was merely trying to be helpful. He was thinking that by test she meant her horse driver's test. Dodo, of course, could never take this test because he's too short.

He also thought that comment about the green accents was a clever one. After all, she had just turned green right before his eyes! Who's to say that doesn't happen all the time? If she had a white horse with green stripes then it would look really color coordinated! And what green-turning, mind-invading, queen Bell that turned strange colors didn't want to be color coordinated with a horse?

She simply closed her eyes and looked a bit tired.

_Do you see that? She totally rejected your very helpful advice. I told you she was a bad lady._

Dodo sighed, feeling a little tired himself. "I cannot do this," he said, referring to being unable to cope with his evil voice.

Lady Gladbags smiled and said, "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

Apparently she thought this a very encouraging comment, so Dodo just smiled and let her help him up. He'd figured out that humoring her was the best way to go. He didn't want to see her go green again or make her get inside his mind. He had enough voices to deal with already, thank you very much.

**Note: Is this too short? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, hope you guys like it. Sorry for taking a few days to update. Please review!**


	12. Of Parental Control and Roads

**Marie: Here's the next chapter. By the way, I'm not sure how to spell 'Argonoth' so just work with me. We're getting close to the end of the Lord of the Mood Rings: the Mood Ring Club, so once we're finished it might take a while. We're going by the script from when this was a film, but we never did the second one. We'll have to put our heads together!**

The next day the group set out, but not without receiving good-byes from the Bells of Gothlorien. Lady Gladbags seemed sad to see Dodo go, probably because she no longer had any minds to read that had other voices to challenge her.

Before they left, Lady Gladbags gave Dodo a gift. She pulled out a little bundle and handed it to him.

"To you, Dodo Flaggins, I give you the light of Parental."

Dodo looked down at the bundle and then unfolded it. Inside was a weird vial that said "Parental". He had no idea what it did. How could something named "Parental" be helpful to him at all? He guessed it would reveal itself in due time.

The group set off, waving to all of them sadly. After all, the woods of Gothlorien may be very dark, but the Bells were still nice.

_Good riddance._

Well, Dodo's voice wasn't so sad to leave.

Legolordas and Thonagong both saluted Hitler, who yelled something back in German. They seemed pleased.

Soon the group was paddling out in the cardboard boxes that the Bells had provided for them. Of course, they got a little wet since cardboard isn't the most waterproof material, but it was better than swimming. Bobbits detest water.

After a while they passed between two statues that looked like Thonagong, only cleaner. Actually, anything can be considered cleaner than Thonagong…

The future king whispered the place's name and said, "Long have I wanted to gaze at the faces of my fore fathers."

Mitten looked at him with wide eyes. "You have four fathers!" he exclaimed.

"Who has four fathers?" asked Sad.

"What does 'Argonoth' mean in Bellish?" Dodo asked. He thought that he must sound very intellectual asking this question since most hadn't even heard what Thonagong had said and didn't know that he said it in Bellish.

"He didn't say 'Argonoth', dorkus!" exclaimed Sad.

Dodo looked bewildered.

"He said 'Astronaut'," finished Spam.

Everyone looked at Dodo now, wondering if he was deaf or something. Who'd ever heard of 'Argonoth'?

"Yes, Spam is right. My fore fathers were the first astronauts. Can't you tell by the helmets?" Thonagong motioned to the statues.

"Your four fathers were all astronauts!" exclaimed Mitten.

"Who were astronauts?" asked Sad.

Dodo realized that the statues did indeed look like astronauts. He wondered if Thonagong would become one too when he became king. A king who has had training in outer space is always helpful to the people of Central Earth.

Presently they reached the banks of the shore, resting before they needed to prepare for the next day's journey.

Legolordas came up to Thonagong and whispered with an edge of fear in his voice, "We cannot linger. A shadow and a threat have been growing in my mind."

"Stuff grows in your mind? Do you mean like mold?"

Legolordas quickly shoved Sad away from their conversation. The little bobbit pouted and went to go in search of some firewood.

"You don't need to worry about the northeastern shore," replied the mysterious woodsman coolly.

"It's not the northeastern shore that worries me."

Blini sat down on the bank with a resounding thud. Mitten munched on a piece of bread (when does that little fellow ever stop eating?). Suddenly Blini stole Thonagong's attention.

"Thonagong, I'd say we're taking the most dangerous path into Jeldur. We're headed toward the Lightning Valley. One of us, if not more, will get struck by a huge thunderbolt and then…DEATH!"

Mitten flinched with his bread halfway to his mouth upon hearing the word 'DEATH'!

"And then, it gets even better!" exclaimed Blini.

The young bobbit looked at the mole with eyes wide in bewilderment. Thonagong simply sighed.

"Terrible sweet smelling lands filled with clowns as far as the eye can see!"

Mitten dropped his bread out of utter shock, which tells you he was really frightened by this description since Mitten rarely ever wasted food like that.

"That is our road. I suggest you rest and recover your strength, Master Mole." Thonagong turned back to what he had been doing.

Blini was indignant. "Recover my…grrrr."

Just then, Sad finally came back with his firewood. He looked around and then said, 'Where's Dodo?"

Spam suddenly looked up, alert at the fact that his master was gone. Where had Dodo wandered off to this time? Spam had warned him about that voice of his…

Thonagong looked around also and then his eyes alighted on something that made him realize what was going on. He saw Doromir's accessory (okay, so it was a Patrick-the-star-fish stuffed animal) lying all by its lonesome.

_Oh no!_ he thought. _Dodo!_

**End note: Yeah, this may be short too, but I had to find a stopping point before the end of the story. There's one more chapter after this and it'll be pretty long! What will happen to Dodo? Will Doromir do something? What is Legolordas afraid of? Will Mitten eat the bread that he had already dropped on the ground! Find out when the story continues…**


	13. Of Hairbrushes and Dorks

**Marie: Aha! The last chapter in the first book of Lord of the Mood Rings: The Mood Ring Club. We will be starting on Lord of the Mood Rings: The Two Flowers next, so be prepared for even more stupidity. Yay stupidity! Okay, now R&R!**

Dodo was seeking some solitude from the rest of the club because he had a lot on his mind. His voice, of course didn't help.

_Whew. Sure am glad to be rid of that weird Bell lady. We triumphed after all, my dear Dodo! I still rule your brainy domain! Mwuhaha!_

Now it was getting a little creepy.

Suddenly he heard a twig snap behind him and he turned around to see Doromir. From the looks of it the man had been picking up some of Legolordas's scattered luggage. Dodo had seen Sad throwing it all over earlier, after the Bell had shoved the other bobbit out of his conversation. Revenge is sweet.

At that moment, Doromir had a huge armload of hairbrushes. He approached Dodo and started to talk to him.

"None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So much depends upon you." He saw the troubled look on Dodo's face and mistook it for suffering from the mood ring.

The man started talking about Dodo suffering and him seeing it everyday. And then he made some outrageous suggestion about him- HIM- taking the mood ring.

_His words would seem like wisdom were it not for me warning you…_

Dodo repeated this to Doromir. "Your words would seem like wisdom were it not for the warning in my mind."

Doromir seemed to take this personally. He looked taken aback, so Dodo, being a sensible bobbit, started to back away.

"I only ask for the strength to defend my people!" He threw down the hairbrushes (the majority were labeled: Legolordas- Monday, Legolordas- Tuesday, Legolordas-Wednesday; he must've picked them up in the Beauty Parlors of Gloria).

"Perhaps if you just lent me the mood ring…" Doromir suggested.

Now Dodo started to really back away, wondering how his little voice was going to help him in this particular situation.

Doromir took this as a bad sign. "Why do you recoil? I'm not a thief!"

_Yeah, but he's not himself._

Dodo listened to the voice, as usual, and pointed this out to the man.

Suddenly Doromir was thrown into a fit of rage, going on about how the mood ring should be his and that Dodo should give it to him. So, as any intelligent creature would, Dodo tried to run away.

Unfortunately, that pesky little pile of thorny sticks appeared again (not again!) and Dodo tripped over them. No sooner did Dodo find himself on the ground than Doromir on top of him, groping for the mood ring that hung around Dodo's neck.

Dodo decided that now would be a good time to disappear so he pulled the mood ring off its chain, placed it on his finger, and disappeared.

Upon disappearing, Dodo glanced down at his finger and noticed that the mood ring was the color that depicted fear.

_No kidding_.

Doromir still fumbled about for the little bobbit, but Dodo was no longer where Doromir was looking. He was in position to give the man a swift kick in the face…which he did.

Since Doromir was knocked senseless Dodo took this opportunity to race off in another direction. He sensed that this little ordeal wasn't over yet. He was right.

He hid behind a stone figure and was suddenly looking straight at the great nose of the Dark, very dark, Lord Baron! He got up and tried to run away, only to find that there was no more ground to run on. He found himself falling and then landing with a painful thunk on the ground.

Once again Dodo wasn't thinking about his actions and ripped of the mood ring.

"OW!" he yelled. And his finger was just beginning to heal from the last time he tore the ring from it.

"Dodo? Where is the mood ring?" asked a voice.

The bobbit saw Thonagong and yelled, "Stay away!"

"I swore an oath to protect you," he replied.

Although Dodo had no memory of this little detail (he was probably talking to himself at the time) he said, "Can you protect me from yourself?" He held out the hand that had the mood ring in it. "Would you destroy it?"

_Okay, now get ready to the put the mood ring on again because this guy is way stronger than that other wimp so he might be more of a challenge, even if you do have the advantage of invisibility_.

Dodo listened to the coaching, preparing himself for yet another lunge towards him and the mood ring from yet another man.

But instead, Thonagong came up and put his hand over Dodo's and said, "I would've gone with you to the end, even unto the very dirty waters of Jeldur."

"I know," said Dodo sincerely, although painfully conscious of the dirty man's hand over his still. Think of the germs! But it was still rather touching.

Suddenly Thonagong got up to his feet and told Dodo to run. The bobbit realized that this was because the woodsman could hear the heavy breathing of Dorks, who weren't all that coordinated so, therefore didn't get much cardiovascular.

Dodo took off, leaving Thonagong to fend off the Dorks. Luckily the future king had retrieved his sword and no longer had to use a plunger as a weapon and was soon hacking away at the vicious glasses-wearing, inhaler-using, clumsy creatures that were attempting to take Dodo away.

Legolordas ran up to Thonagong, ready to help.

"Dorks!" yelled Thonagong.

"How many?' asked the Bell anxiously.

"Too many!"

They resumed doing battle, soon joined by the mole, Blini.

Meanwhile, Sad and Mitten had actually accomplished something by distracting the Dorks so Dodo could get away. They were very happy about this until they realized that they now had to run for their lives.

"AHHHH!'

Suddenly the once MIA Doromir came bounding onto the scene, sword handy. He started slicing Dorks right and left, pausing now and then to blow on his Whistle of Delondor.

But his mad chopping spree was short lived when a particularly skinny and menacing look Dork came up and started trying to shoot Doromir. It took the thing a couple tries since his glasses needed a new prescription, but eventually, to the two little bobbits' horror, three of them pierced Doromir's chest.

He fought bravely 'til the end, but still when you have three arrows sticking out of you, you're bound to die eventually.

So as Doromir lay dying, Thonagong did what any friend would do and took revenge on this Dork. This made Doromir very happy, seeing the future king of his country decapitating the creature that was going to bring about his death in the next few moments.

Thonagong raced over to Doromir, not realizing that the band of Dorks had taken Sad and Mitten with them. He heard the man's last words.

"They've taken the little ones!" he exclaimed and then he got a regretful look on his face. "I tried to take it, Thonagong. I tried to take the mood ring from h im. Dodo, where is Dodo?"

"I let Dodo go," replied Thonagong, wondering why Doromir wanted to talk about Dodo during his last moments.

The mysterious woodsman, were in he in Doromir's place, would probably be making a dramatic death scene, tearing up as he told someone to say good-bye to his beloved Darwin. But obviously this sort of thing hadn't crossed Doromir's mind.

"Then you did what I could not." Suddenly his eyes glazed over a bit and got this dreamy look on his face. "I can see it, Thonagong! I can see the Purple Tree of Delondor!" And then he died.

Thonagong closed his eyes and then said, "Be at peace, son of Delondor."

"Well the Mood Ring club has failed." Blini seemed a bit sad about this.

"Not if we hold true to ourselves. We cannot leave Sad and Mitten to the pain and torture of Barney videos. Dodo is far beyond our reach." He sheathed his knife and then said, "Let's hunt some Dork."

This made Blini very happy as there was nothing he liked to do better than to slaughter running Dorks. "YAY!"

Dodo, however, was not so thrilled. He was having to leave without anyone but his little voice to keep him company. That's a very bleak future. But, since he had no other choice he got into one of the cardboard boxes and was about to float into the river.

"NO! Mr. Dodo, don't go!" Spam came running up at a surprisingly fast pace for his weight.

"No, Spam. I'm going to Jeldur alone." Dodo started to get out onto the river again, but was stopped.

"Of course you are! And I'm coming with you!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

TWO HOURS LATER

"Fine! Get in the boat, Spam!" Dodo relented.

Spam suddenly got all teary eyed and said, "I made a promise, Mr. Dodo, a promise. 'Don't you lose him, Spamdumb Smarty'. And I don't mean to…I don't mean to."

Dodo was rather touched by this. "Who did you make this promise to?" he asked.

This was where Spam stopped being teary eyed and started getting bewildered. "I don't know. It just sounded good. You know, fit the moment."

They started to row away. Soon they reached the very edge of the land of Jeldur.

Dodo looked at this drab sight and then turned to Spam and said," I don't suppose we'll ever see them again…"

Spam smiled and said, "We may, Mr. Dodo, we may."

Dodo was comforted by this, until…

"Then again, they all might die."

**Note: So ends the first book of the tale of four bobbits, a bell, a mole, two men, and a gizzard. Their club has failed but they still go on. What will happen in the next book? You'll have to wait and see! **


End file.
